MOFITA Book Report: BEACH READ
Emily Henry has successfully written and sold many books, and I have not written a single one. Let's start by acknowledging that.
Before I started trying to write to all of you about Beach Read, I considered the idea that a book so purposefully formulaic — one that engages directly with the idea of the romance novel formula in general — might deserve to be given a formulaic book report treatment. I Googled “3st grade book report template” (because I was in a hurry) and ended up on a bunch of homeschooling websites.
So yeah, I’ll just wing it and tell you about this book. First, you probably want to know if you should read it. That’s a great question. Instead of a truly satisfying answer, I’m going to give you a quiz that might help you decide about that.
Do you like romance novels in general? (If yes, move on. If no, this book is not for you. Romance is in the zeitgeist right now, and someone here in Portland just opened a romance-only bookstore I think, so you’re not alone if you’re into it!)
Do sex scenes that (mostly) don’t culminate in actual sex excite you or annoy you? (if yes, move on. If no, this book is not for you.)
Do you feel all cringy when you read about people having massive crushes on other people because it reminds you of your teen years (or are you NOT like me and are fine with it, actually)? (If you cringe like me, this book will be hard for you to read.)
Why did I read Beach Read? As I’ve mentioned on the podcast, I get my fluffy, fun before-bed reads from Libby. I save the meaty (ha) stuff like Nightbitch for afternoons, or like that nice 8-10pm window when the kids aren’t bugging me and I don’t need to be trying to fall asleep yet. I use Libby to find pleasant, soothing (ideally, but not necessarily, good) books to read as I start to fall asleep. These are the kinds of books I read slowly, and prefer to get for free from the library. They don’t tend to be books that I feel the need to own, because I don’t expect to revisit them (Laurie Colwin’s lovely novels are a notable recent Libby-score exception).
So, I got Beach Read expecting sort of a The Guncle-vibe (OMG as I grabbed this link I am realizing there is a series of them now, I know what I will be falling asleep to next!). I started it and it was indeed beachy as promised AT FIRST. Then, quickly, January (our protagonist, who is herself a wildly successful, young-ish romance novelist) starts getting all hot and bothered about her writer-neighbor (also a wildly successful writer of serious novels) and then then book started to irritate me.
As ever, this irritation is more about me than the book. I guess early 40s with two kids just isn’t a romantic age for me, and I feel sort of bad about that? I am frankly not in the mood for all the swooning and stuff. Give me a book about a really pissed off woman turning into a dog, OK? I am lucky enough to have a long time partner (holy cow our first date was 19 years ago) and other people’s butterflies are a snooze-fest. I haven’t even been convinced to become a paying subscriber to Cup of Jo’s Big Salad newsletter in which she talks about her dating life because hearing about people’s dating life is literally the most boring thing I can imagine. Maybe I suck! Is what I’m saying. But that’s where I am. Is it just me? Probably! Should I bring this up in therapy? OOOoooo, likely.
TLDR: Beach Read is fine, if you like romance novels and getting books for free on Libby.
How’s your summer reading going so far? We’re ready for your book reports, folks! The personal pan pizzas aren’t going to eat themselves.
-Miranda
P.S. Adding Rufi Thorpe’s new book, Margo’s Got Money Troubles to my to-read pile because I’d been meaning to anyway and then
told me I MUST.
I answered yes to all these questions!! I'll be reading this next...