MOFITA Book Report: Too Many Books
Reading the TBR in lots of little spurts, TBH
I really did finish an entire book (bell hooks’ All About Love). But I am still thinking about it and not ready to say much about it, other than that I think love is hard to write about, which is a validating thought for a person who makes a living (?) writing about motherhood, which is obviously another way to say who makes a living writing about love. It’s a great idea to read it yourself, if you haven’t.
Mostly, I am here to talk about reading, though. This will be an Honest Book Report, unfortunately for you and for me, in which I admit that I feel chaotic in my summer reading efforts. My to-be-read pile grows and grows, and I never get on top of it. However excited I feel when I snap up a book from a little free library, or at one of the many little bookstores I love to pop into (or, let’s be real, from Amazon at 11:39pm when I am laying in bed and remember a book that I MUST READ immediately because I know it’s going to be THE book I need RIGHT NOW to change my whole life and fix everything so click) I often end up standing frozen, exhausted face-to-face with my pile of delusional aspiration, too tired and dazed to actually sit down and read.
What has helped me tackle the pile is a method that might be madness, which is to pick up whatever book most calls to me in the moment, and sit down and read in little bursts that are (usually) the length of whatever TV show my kids are watching. Lately, this means I get once or twice a day to read for the length of: one Sponge Bob, one Spidey, and one “agree upon” episode (a show my 3 yr old and 6 yr old can, well, you know).
This questionable (genius?) approach to tackling my pile has resulted in a not-very-book-report-friendly situation, which is that I am 20-80 pages in to about five different books. I am thrilled / frustrated to report that I am greatly enjoying and would recommend all of them. Will it stress you out if I recommend them all? Is that cheating? Why am I so concerned with rules and — as both Sarah and my therapist have pointed out — the need for permission? If I can save $1800 and get that sweet sweet psilocybin therapy session I have been pining for, maybe I’ll be able to answer that. In the meantime, I am going to go ahead and give myself permission to recommend all five books, which I really do think you’d love. OK, buckle up:
Unraveling: What I Learned About Life While Shearing Sheep, Dyeing Wool, and Making the World's Ugliest Sweater by Peggy Orenstein. So this is a fun, easy, light read about the pandemic and climate change and aging and being a middle aged woman, with some crone thoughts™️ sprinkled in. Basically all I ever want in a book. It’s my bedtime read, because to me it is cozy.
Nightlights by Phyllis Theroux. I learned about this collection of essays (“bedtime stories for parents in the dark” Theroux calls it) from the comments section of a little-known blog I like to read called Cup Of Jo (I like her so much I subscribe to her little-known
newsletter and I even PAY for it — hey, PS, more on this in a minute*). This sweet little book is so good. It’s everything I want to write, everything I want to read about parenting and I am only slightly depressed that I am not Phyllis Theroux.Attachments by Lucas Mann. I have to read this for work (AKA this Mother Of It All thing) and you should hustle up and read it too so you can join us on August 7 in conversation with the Mann (ha) himself. It’s a memoir of fatherhood and it also has a long digression about Brad Pitt, which I enjoyed. Remember when he was NEW from Thelma & Louise? Remember how good that movie is? Also, even if you don’t find time to read this book, come to our Aug 7th event anyway! You can sign up to join us (via zoom) on Aug 7th HERE.
Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. A marriage and family therapist I once interviewed said that Kristin Neff is THE self-compassion person, and I have a whole thing that I believe about how the reason parenting feels so hard sometimes is 90-100% because parents aren’t being nice enough to themselves and I believe this because when I started meditating a few years ago the first thing I learned was how incredibly mean I am to myself ALL THE TIME. Self-compassion is really hard and really important I think, and so I’m trying to learn about it. I feel very called out when I read this book, and it’s great.
The Art Of Memoir by Mary Karr. I write about myself a lot, and I’d sure love to be better at it. I hear this is a banger and so far so good.
How’s your summer pile treating you? How do YOU find time to read? Does it stress you out when I ask you that? What books do you look longingly at, and what books do you actually pick up and dive in to, even if it’s just for the length of a Bluey episode?
P.S. did you see that your favorite TV writer and mine is writing a WHOLE BOOK about Bluey? Normally I’d say, ew, who needs that but it’s Kathryn so it’s going to rule and I can’t wait.
*P.P.S.Anyone else going to the Big Salad event at SIFF in Seattle on Aug 21? I’ll be there! Want to meet up!?
My TBR has gotten out of control but we really stopped watching TV at night (and I love TV) so have been impressed with how much I have read. We have a rule that our oldest doesn't have a bedtime during the summer if he's reading. So we have started all sitting together and reading. I am confident this will change in the school year but for now it's nice. I also try to read in free moments, book in the car, book at the table (I read a little during lunch).
And I am a big fan of Kristin Neff. She's great, her more recent book on Fierce Self-Compassion has real mama bear energy, it's good.
I read Self-Compassion many years ago, when I was in college, and it changed my life. I still do her three-step self-compassion process allll the time. 11/10 recommend and can’t wait to hear your thoughts once you finish it!