12 Comments

I am all for keeping kids and teens off social as long as possible. I have an 8 yo girl and i can already see how hard it will be for her to possibly be the only one of her friends without a phone or social. Right now she’s not allowed on YouTube while her friends are, so we often have conversations about families choosing differently, etc. Also i have already warned her she won’t have a phone until high school (maybe 15?) and that she might be the only one of her friends without a phone, so she won’t be surprised when her friends all get one and she doesn’t. I have a feeling her school friends will get phones in 5th grade and most of their parents won’t be very strict about social media so even the osmosis might be bad 😬 hopefully a surgeon general warning might help? The Evil Witches newsletter had an article a while back where she interviewed 18-25 year olds about phones and social and rules when they were teens and the answers were eye-opening, unexpected, and helped me feel good about my decisions!

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author

Yes! It is incredibly tricky. I feel like I need to brace myself for feeling like the mean parent when it comes to the rules I'm comfortable with around social media and phones in general as my kids get older. I think of this warning as mostly symbolic, I guess, but hoping it might bolster me as a parent trying to make a decision to feel like some official voice agrees that social media is bad for developing brains.

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It’s great that you’re setting boundaries early on! It’s definitely a tough balancing act with social media and kids these days.

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My kids are too young for social media (5 and 7), but I plan on resisting phones and social media for as long as I can… high school? Maybe it’s part millennial nostalgia but I think giving them access to the tech around the same age I had access to it seems reasonable.

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Im in the same boat, but from what I see on the horizon, I think it's gonna be harder than we're planning for. There are so many important things that happen on social media for them. Complicated.

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author

I feel the same! I'm glad we're not quite there yet.

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Jun 19Liked by Miranda

It is a great relief that my kids are old enough to have missed most of this stuff until they were old enough to have some filtering skills. I like Gavin Newsom's push to get rid of phones in the classroom. I have a friend who teaches high school math and she says it is impossible to get everyone focused at the same time because of the phones.

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I hadnt heard of the Newsom thing but I do think it speaks to a need for this to happening at a larger level instead of an issue of individual choice. I was a teacher years ago but that sounds INSANE.

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I really appreciated this piece from Jacqueline Nesi, https://technosapiens.substack.com/p/should-social-media-have-a-warning, she has great points about the warning component and whether it is truly useful. It's so complicated, our kids are still too young but it will be coming at some point. Finding boundaries that promote safety for our kids as individuals (because they are all very different personalities) and partnership with them as well in navigating this modern landscape feel like the intention but it's going to be tough.

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Yeah! Even just acknowledging the toughness makes me feel better. Like this is just thorny, and there's no easy answer.

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Yes, like so many things in parenting, it feels good to embrace the uncertainty that there isn't necessarily a best way to do it and that's okay. We will do the best we can.

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Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking piece! It’s definitely a complex issue to navigate with our kids.

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